djmorton - SLA Industries

Th' Kurgens journal pairt nine

Efter lest journals revelation ah gaed hame 'n' hud mah bike resprayed, yin hundred 'n' fifty credits whit a ripoff! ah then headed aff wi' duke in tow tae tak' pairt in th' "Downtown Death Race", finally something worthy o' mah skills! We arrived ootdoors a swanky telly studio 'n' wur led intae some dressing rooms, th' pounce De'witt soon shawed up 'n' stairted fussing aroond aboot mah locks, whit a fruit!

After the last journal revelation I went home and had my bike resprayed. 150cr, what a ripoff. I then headed off with Duke in tow to take part in the "Downtown Death Race". Finally somethimng worthy of my skills. We arrived at a posh outdoors TV studio and were lead into some dressing rooms. A dandy called De'witt soon showed up fussed about with my hair.

Th' wifie wha presented th' shaw cried Maya spoke wi' us 'n' apparenetly ah managed tae pish her aff 'n' forfeited mah free gear 'n' prostitutes, ah pure shuid learn tae keep mah muckle geggy shut, then again she wis a muckle geggy herself. She explained th' rules o' th' shaw, thare weren't ony! juist murdurr th' ither time 'n' cross th' finishing line alive, seems simple enough, th' winners tak' hame either 600 credits or 1000 in thair laddie account. We decided oan a van 'n' bike fur th' race wi' Duke riding wi' me. Maggot 'n' Felicity wid tak' th' van nae that ah cared whit happened tae thaim muckle. We met oor opponents 'n' ah wis surprised tae see Slipknot fae th' quiz shaw, wi' him wis Gordo wha hud shitty wallies, ah tried tae convince him tae shoot Maggot foremaist fur fifty credits bit he wasn't interested, pity, it wid be a stoatin opportunity tae murdurr his sorry bahookie.

The presenter of the show was called Maya. She spoke to us and apparently I annoyed her and forfited my free equipment and prostitutes. I should learn to keep my mouth shut, but then again she had a big mouth as well. She explained the rules of the show, there were none. Just kill the other team and cross the finishing line alive. Seems simple enough, the winners take home either 600cr or 1000cr in their LAD account. We decided on a van and bike for the race, with Duke riding with me. Maggot and Felicity would take the van, not that I cared what happened to them. We met our opponents and I was surprised to see Slipknot from the quiz show, with him Gordo who had bad teeth. I tried to convince him to shoot Maggot first for 50cr but he was not interested. Pity, it would have been a great opportunity to get him killed.

Th' race stairted 'n' Slipknot git aff tae a stoatin stairt oan his bike, ah hae ti admit he's nae a ill biker. We soon left Felicity 'n' Maggot behind in thair trans-jobby-van tae battle it oot. Ah wis riding at breakneck speed throught th' twsits 'n' turns o' th' coorse whin ah suddenly clocked up ahead Slipknot breaking solid, at th' lest minute ah skelp an oil slick whilk ah expertly managed tae navigate, a'm stoatin!

The race started and Slipknot made a quick start on his bike, and Ihave to admit he is not a bad biker. We soon left Felicity and Maggot behind in their van to battle it out. I was riding at breakneck speed through the twists and turns of the course when I suddenly saw ahead Slipknot breaking sharply. At the last moment I hit an oil slick which I expertly managed to navigate.

Duke wis daein' weel, cracking aff shot efter shot at slipknot whilst Gordo returned th' favour oan yers truely, he even managed tae a hampden roar a few hits bit as a' body ken th' kurgen cannae be murdurred by conventional weapons. Th' coorse wis mair pernicketie th' further in we gaed 'n' ah soon spied a gape in th' road ahead wi' a ramp oan th' near side, a'd hae tae jump th' mither numpty, suffice tae say ah performed admirably 'n' wis soon oan th' ither side, unfortunately Slipknot succeeded as weel. Ah heard efter that Maggot haes actually dane something useful fur a chaynge except dying o' coorse, as thay approached th' gey identical ramp he autofired intae th' thair opponents van 'n' turned th' driver intae rid drow whilk caused th' motor tae crash 'n' explode, unfortunately Maggot wasn't caught in th' blast, och weel.

Duke was doing well, firing shot after shot at Slipknot whilst Gordo returned fire at me, he even managed to score a few hits but as everybody knows, The Kurgen cannot be killed by conventional weapons. The course was more difficult the further we went and I soon saw a gap in the road ahead with a ramp on the near side. I had to jump the gap. Suffice to say I performed well and was soon on the other side, unfortunately Slipknot succeeded as well. I heard after that Maggot actually did something useful for a change, except dying of course, as they approached the same gap he autofired into their opponents van and turned the driver into red mist which caused their van to crash and explode. Unfortunately Maggot was not caught in the blast.

Slipknot wis pul'in awa' sae ah gunned mah bike 'n' caught up wi' him, 'twas neck 'n' neck 'n' win wis wi`in mah grasp ainlie tae be cruelly nicked awa' seconds efter whin shithead Gordo git a jammy skelp oan me 'n' ah spun oot. Duke decided tae loup fae mah bike 'n' grab Gordo bit failed miserably 'n' skelp th' asphalt solid 'n' he left hauf his heid oan th' road. Bugger! Somehow Slipknot carried oan tae win th' race whilst ah attended tae Duke. Ah pumped fives doses o' gear intae his brain 'n' hoped fur th' best. Muckle tae mah surprise an aerial laddie ambulance turned up 'n' whisked him aff tae hopital. Ah gawked it fly awat afore starting th' lang donder tae th' finish line as mah bike wis noo weel 'n' truely goosed.

Slipknot was pulling away so I accelerated my bike to catch up with him. We were neck and neck and the win was in my grasp only to be cruelly taken away seconds after when Gordo got a lucky hit on me and I spun out. Duke decided to leap from my Bike and grab Gordo but failed miserably and hit the asphalt hard and left half his head on the road. Somehow Slipknot carried on to win the race whilst I attended to Duke. I pumped five doses of drugs into his brain and hoped for the best. Much to my surprise an arial LAD ambulance turned up and whisked him off to hospital. I watched it fly away before starting the long walk to the finish line as my bike was badly dammaged.

We'd lost bit a'd dane weel sae ah didnae care awfy much 'n' by th' time a'd traivelt back a' body else hud ficked aff, thir's gratitude fur ye. Th' neist day Duke cam back tae jyne us efter his stint in hospital 'n' bugger me if he didnae keek lik' a slice o' corn beef, a' scars 'n' jobby! 'n' Tony Fury hud a freish BPN fur us, we hud tae murdurr three former SLA operatives wha hud turned traitor. Thair squad wis cried "Trouble" whilk is ironic as that's exactly whit ah wis aff tae be tae this bunch o' wee-lee wankers. We learned that thay regularily met up fur breakfast at a steid cried "Square Orange" sae aff we gaed 'n' soon fun th' operative cried "Nail" siiting oan his lonesome. We gaed 'n' 'n' sat doon at his buird. He mist hae realised how come we wur thare as be bitched oan aboot howfur solid his lee wis, boo pumpin' hoo ye traitorous scumbag! If thir's yin thing ah despise mair than anythin' tis a SLA operative wha turns his back oan th' gey company howfur trains thaim, pays thaim 'n' provides thair wey o' lee. Tae caw traitor is th' wirst crime in mah mynd 'n' death by torture is th' ainlie punishment, something a'm mair than happy tae arrange.

We'd lost but I'd done well so I did not care very much and by the time I had travelled back everybody else had left. There's gratitude for you. The next day Duke came back to join us after his stint in hospital, looking like a slice of corn beef, scars and all. Tony Fury had a fresh BNP for us, we had to eliminate some former SLA operatives who had turned traitor. Their squad was called "Trouble" which is ironic as that is exactly what I was going to bring to them. We learned that they regularly met up for breakfast at a place called "Square Orange" so off we went and soon found the operative called "Nail" sitting on his own. We went and sat down at his table. He must have realised why we were there as he complained about how hard his life was. If there is one thing I despise mere than anything, it is an SLA operative who turns his back on the very company who trains them, pays them and provides their way of life. To turn traitor is the worst crime in my mind and death by torture is the only punishment, something I am more than happy to arrange.

Anyway thae shitheads hud raided a Karma lab, nicked some technology 'n' murdurred a scientist sae thair fate wis sealed. We teuk Nail wi' us 'n' headed fur mah apartment sae ah wid torture th' eejit tae mak' sure he wis oan th' up 'n' up. Tae mah surprise he wis shot 'n' murdurred in oor van oan th' wey. Yin o' mah schools mist hjave wimped oot 'n' given him a mercy killing 'n' ah wis sae lokking tae th' future tae peeling aff his skin.

Anyway, they had raided a karma lab, stolen some technology and murdured a scientist, so their fate was sealed. We took Nail with us and headed for my appartment so I could torture him and make sure he was telling the truth. To my surprise he was shot and killed in our van on the way. One of my colleges must have given him a mercy killing, and I was so looking forward to peeling off his skin.

Thats a' fur noo, tune in neist time fur th' newest instalment ye lame-dicked homosexuals!