Ye mist ken tis mah pumpin' journal by noo! pairt eleven
Wi'oot skipping a beat here's whit happened neist!
Without skipping a beat, here's what happened next!
Th' Manchine motherfucker seemed tae be checking oot th' battlefield 'n' thare wis a brief lull while ah decided whit tae dae neist. Yin o' th' dowie act traitor operatives cried oot tae gang up in order tae murdurr it bit ah dingyed him. Th' manchine seemed interested in tearing felicity a freish arsehole 'n' fur a moment th' thought seemed an bonnie yin, bit ah decided tae redirect mah aggressive tendencies towards th' metal monster in order tae save her bahookie. Felicity gaed tae th' richt while ah covered th' left 'n' atween us we finished th' manchine aff, a few stray bullets fae Uralie 'n' Duke micht hae helped a bawherr. At some point in a' th' stramash Duke threw a frag grenade at me whilk kin hae bin accidental, bit ah'ament sae sure, anyway it tore awa' at mah awready fucked armour sae ah wasn't tae chuffed. Efter we'd wasted th' Manchine we gaed efter th' ex-SLA ops 'n' teuk thaim doon wi'oot awfy much trauchle, at least yin o' thaim hud th' decency tae commit suicide honourably.
The mechanical *** expletive *** seemed to be checking out the battlefield and there was a breif lull while I decided what to do next. One of the traitor operatives cried out to cooperate in ordere to kill it but I ignored him. The machine seemed interested in attacking Felocity and for a moment I thought 'good one', but I decided to redirect my aggresive tendencies towards the metal monster in order to save her. Felicity went to the right while I covered the left and between us we finished the machine off. A few stray bullets from Uralie and Duke might have helped a bit. At some point in the commotion Duke threw a frag grenade at me which could have been accidental, but I could not be sure. Anyway it tore away more of my already dammaged armour so I was not too happy. After we destroyed the machine we went after the ex-SLA OPS and took them down without much trouble, at least one of them had the decency to commit suicide honourably.
Th' steid wis a fankle, wi' metal 'n' body bits aw weys, sae ah teuk oot a cop guid 'n' hud a puff tae relax. We hud tae tak' th' bodies wi' us as proof we'd dane oor jab sae while th' rest o' Deadzone argued aboot howfur tae git thaim in Felicity's shitmobile ah hoisted Void's carcass ower mah shoulder 'n' headed oot fur th' naurby train station. Och a'm sae practical!
The place was a mess, with metal and body bits everywhere, so I took out a feel good and had a puff to relax. We had to take the bodies with us as proof we had done our job, so while the rest of Dead Zone argued about how to get them in Felicity's car I hoisted Void's body over my shoulder and headed for the nearby train station. I am so practical.
Onone oan th' train seemed tae mynd though maist o' th' commuters hud th' sense tae git oot o' mah wey. Och mah memory slipped again, we fun a BPN oan yin o' th' bodies implicating shitheel Anton Conway in th' massacre at th' Karma lab, looks lik' he hud th' ops steal some stuff 'n' us cover it up gaed hings gaed tits up, nae that we'd be able tae prove ony o' it.
No one on the train seemed to mind though most of the commuters had the sense to get out of my way. Oh, my memory slipped again, we found a BPN on one of the bodies implicating Anton Conway in the massacre at the Karma lab. It looks like he had the OPs steal some stuff and us cover it up when things went wrong. Not that we would be able to prove any of it.
Arriving at SLA HQ we collected oor reward then follaed oan tae "The Pit" tae celebrate oor win. 'twas packed tio th' rafters as usual 'n' unfortunately we bumped intae oot slime bucket financier - Tony Fury. He did his usual trick o' talking bollocks at super-sonic speed afore actually making ony sense, ah think ah prefer th' bufty pie-eating basturd tae this retard. He'd bin stowed talking wi' oor sponsors 'n' th' outcome wis Duke's coupon wis sae pumpin' hackit efter his scrape o'er th' tarmac while th' Downtown Deathmatch Race that fen wur paying fur him tae hae a freish yin. Uralie wis tae shout a' day aboot his hearing aids whilst channel 50 waither wur prepared tae gies 1000cr 'n' a van providing we mentioned th' waither, och happy days!
Arriving at SLA HQ we collected our reward then continued on to The Pit where we celebrated our win. It was packed to the rafters as usual and unfortunately we bumped into the slime bucket financier Tony Fury. He did his usual trick of talking rubbish at high speed before actually making any sense. I think I prefered Herman to this retard. He had been busy talking to our sponsers and the outcome was that because Duke's face was so ugly after his scrape with the tarmac during the Downtown Deathmatch race they were paying for him to have a new one. Uralie was to shout all day about his hearing aids whilst channel 50 weather were prepared to give us 1000cr and a van provided we mentioned the weather. Oh happy hays.
Deliah wis by th' boozer wi' her croonies sae ah wandered ower tae say guid day, we shot th' breeze afore she dropped a bomb-shell oan mah heid, she wanted tae git hitched tae me! purely fur advertising reasons o' coorse. She shored me a steid tae bide in her plush apartment 'n' th' biggest inducement o' a', a brand spanking freish Calahavy Excelsior in black, ah thought a'd died 'n' gaen tae a lairge drug dealership! She'd printed up some invitations whilk included mah bunch o' reprobates 'n' some ither guests anaw Felicity's loony maw, ah handed thaim oot tae Deadzone then follaed Deliah back tae her steid tae engage in some no nice ersehale throwing a sausage up a close speil, ouch!
Deliah was by the bar with her companions so I wandered over to say hello. We talked before she dropped a bomb shell on my head, she wanted to marry me! Purely for advertising reasons of course. She offered me a place in her plush appartment, and the biggest inducement of all, a brand new Calahavy Excelsior in black. I thought I had died and gone to a large drug dealership! She had printed up some invitations which included my companions and other guests including Felicity's mother. I handed them out to Dead Zone then followed Deliah back to her place to engage in some sexual activity.
Th' neist day Fury haes anither BPN fur us, it keeked bonny mundane tae me, we hud tae pull some Shivers oot o' th' fire efter thay hud gaen missing in Downtown. We reported in efter a'd drien thare in record speed oan mah freish hurl (now cried Deathreaper III) 'n' spoke tae th' guy in charge: Sargent Openheimer, a tot gibble wha refused tae accept responcibility fur his gross incompetence, sae whit's freish ah? It turns oot that th' jag-offs kent as "The Downtown Residents Action League" kin hae bin heavy goin somehow; we'd hud th' misfortune tae catch up wi` up wi' thae ingrates afore, a bunch o' whiny, howfin, liberals wha believed thay wur bein' solid dane by. Thay shuid hae ne'er bin spurted oot o' thair da's cocks in mah opinion. Openheimer wanted us tae investigate his men's disappearance fur he coudnae fin' his bahookie wi' baith hauns. He gave us th' names 'n' addresses o' th' DTRAL’s chief trauchle makers alang wi' his informant ben thair ranks: a Huey Mackenzie wha wid likelie be aboot as useful as a paper frenchie. Suddenly a Shiver crashed intae his affice 'n' blurted oot that th' DTRAL wis disrupting th' sector's traffic by blockading a vital round-about 'n' jalouse wha wid be sent tae sort oot th' fankle?
The next day Fury had another BNP for us. It looked pretty mundane to me. We had to pull some shivers out of the fire after they had gone missing in downtown. We reported in after I had driven there in record speed on my new ride (now called Deathreaper III) and spoke to the guy in charge, Sergeant Openheimer, a total tool who refused to accept responsibility for his gross incompetence, so whats new? It turns out that the inept DTRAL (Downtown Residents Action League) may have been involved somehow. We had the misfortune to catch up with them before, a bunch of whiney, howling liberals who believed they were being hard done by. They should never have been born in my opinion. Openheimer wanted us to investigate his mens dissapearence for he could not find his behind with both hands. He gave us the names and addresses of the DTRALs chief trouble makers along with his informant in their ranks, a Huey Mackenzie who was as likely to be about as useful as as paper condom. Suddenly a Shiver burst into his office and blurted out that the DTRAL was disrupting the sectors traffic by blockading a vital roundabout and guess who would be sent to sort out the mess?
Ootdoors th' traffic wis at a standstill sae we hightailed it oan foot tae th' riot scene alang wi' oor speirins gang wha ah completely forgot tae mention, mist be th' Ultraviolence drug, ah think mah auld lang syne gaun.
Outside the traffic was at a standstill so we ran on foot to the riot scene along with our news team, who I completely forgot to mention, must be the ultraviolence drug, I think my memory must be going.
Ootdoors th' traffic wis at a standstill sae we hightailed it oan foot tae th' riot scene alang wi' oor speirins gang wha ah completely forgot tae mention, mist be th' Ultraviolence drug, ah think mah auld lang syne gaun.
Outside the traffic was at a standstill so we ran on foot to the riot scene along with our news team, who I completely forgot to mention, must be the ultraviolence drug, I think my memory must be going.
Bugger a'm sure a've written this doon afore!
*** Expletive ***, I'm sure I must have written this down before!
Sae we git thare tae fin' th' DTRAL a' ower th' steid 'n' thair ringleaders shouting oot thare woes ower megaphones. Ah wis sorely tempted tae scatter th' crowd usin` a frag grenade a'd recently purchased aff Felicity bit Duke staun up 'n' delivered sic a compelling 'n' reasoned speech that even ah considered disperseing alang wi' th' protestors. Anyway, aff thay gaed lik' scoulded lambs while we decided tae follow Edna Wokowski, yin o' th' ringleaders, capture 'n' torture her (hopefully). Though we soon lost her in th' crowd as ah wis foolishly relying oan directions given tae me by Uralie fae his rooftop vantage point 'n' o' coorse he fucked up 'n' lost her, a'm sae used tae oor groups ineptness by noo that ah teuk it in mah stride 'n' lit up a cop guid.
So we got there to find the DTRAL all over the place and their ringleaders shouting out their woes over megaphones. I was sorely tempted to scatter the crowd using a frag grenade I had recently purchased from Felicity but Duke stood up and delivered a compelling and reasoned speech that even I considered dispersing along with the protestors. Anyway, off they went like scolded lambs while we decided to follow Edna Wokowski, one of the ringleaders, capture and torture her (hopefully). Though we soon lost her in the crowd as I was foolishly relying on directions given to me by Uralie from his rooftop vantage point and of course he lost her. I am so used to our groups ineptness by now that I took it in my stride and lit up a feel good.
'til neist time fuckwads!