djmorton - SLA Industries

Mah journal by th' Kurgen pairt yin

Huvin ended mah training efter a year ah gaed tae whaur ah cuid fin' wirk wit SLA. Ma and four others turned up. One was a right bampot who talked shite and all glowie from lumo (Dr Gregory Inz’duse), a Frother lass wit pouncy claes (Felicity Flipoff – shite name!), a sodger wit rifle (Duke Gaylord - Seems a'richt though he kin be bufty) and another who was right peecht oot from runnin’ up the stairs (Uralie Darkshadow - A pumpin' alien!).

Having ended my training after a year I went to where I could find work with SLA. Me and four others turned up. *** Some disparaging remarks ***

Seemed lik' a bunch o' cunts bit ah thought “whit th' bugger?”

*** More disparaging remarks *** I thought whats up?

After a bit a wee man turns up and says he’s the man with the action so ma signs some shite and talks some jobby aboot oot radios then ma walks ta a room where ma heid gets done with a chip, fuckin aiya!

After a while a man turns up and presents the contract. I signed the paperwork and was informed I would be fitted with a radio tracker chip.

The wee man says we ginna need a name so we go wit “Dead Zone” wit keeps awbidy happy. The wee man says to gang tae th' muckle loaby tae git a blue BNP so we does. Alien runs doon thirty flights o' stairs again, eejit. We donder oot o' th' elevator tae fin' th' loaby is pure stowed. Shite!

The man say we are going to need a name so we agreed on "Dead Zone". The man said to go to the lobby to get a blue BNP (Blueprint News File). Uralie ran down the 30 flights of stairs while the rest of us took the elevator.

We queue fur a lang time 'til we catch up wi` a jimmy wha gives us a contract. A right muckle pie-eater fud in rid 'n' yellow wi' a bufty accent and he says fur 10% he'll gies a jab paying twa hundred 'n' fitfy credits, so ma says aye!

We queued for a long time to get a job. A financier wearing yellow with an accent whose name was Herman could put us forward for a job paying 250cr in exchange for 10%. We agreed.

He says we hae tae gang downtown 'n' hulp oot th' polis 'n' speak tae a jimmy cried Captain Harris so off we goes. Ah hurl mah bike 'n' gie a hurl tae Duke, while th' ithers hurl in th' lassies jobby motor, wankers!

He told us to go downtown to the police and to contact Captain Harris. I took my bike and gave a lift to the Duke while the others went in Felicity's car.

Ah hurl sae fleet ah caw up afore a'body else, Duke manages tae hing oan bit he's pure scared!

I went fast and arrived before anyone else. Duke managed to hang on though the ride frightened him.

We come tae a motor crash whaur th' polis ur trying tae maintain order while wa gangs th' “Cobra khans” 'n' th' “Manic Mongooses” hae a shoot oot, tae o' limp dicked cunts if ye asked me.

We came to a motor crash where the police were trying to maintain order while two gangs, the “Cobra khans” and the “Manic Mongooses” were having a shootout. *** Disparaging remarks ***

Duke telephones Captain Harris aboot whit tae dae ans is telt tae murdurr th' lot o' thaim. Stoatin! Ah pull oot mah pure massive sword 'n' sneak ower tae yin o' th' gangs 'n' duke comes wi' me. He uses me fur cover while ah attack th' closest yin. Ah choap doon twa 'n' intimidate th' rest wha gied the pitch lik' th' cowards they're.

The Duke telephoned Captain Harris to find out what he wanted and was told to stop the fight. Lethal force was authorised. I pulled out my sword and sneaked towards one of the the gangs with Duke. He kept behind me as I charged the nearest gang member and chopped him down. The others fled.

Oan th' ither side o' th' wynd th' wifie Frother does weel bit ah cannae see th' sniper, he mist hae hid his-sel awa' 'n' starting shooting.

On the other side, Felicity delt with a sniper I had not seen.

Efter th' gangs gied the pitch masell 'n' th' Doctor notice something unusual aboot th' motor. Sae ah rip opent he boot 'n' fin' a jimmy tied up ben. He says th' gang captured him fur he sold thaim defective guns. Th' wifie steals a keek at th' guns 'n' realises they're made by a rival corporation cried Mirk Knight, sae ah ca' th' wee jimmy 'n' request we investigate 'n' he authorises a white BNP Fur annur fifty credits. Stoatin!

After the gangs had fled, myself and Doctor Gregory noticed something unusual about the car. I opened the book and found someone tied up inside. He said the gang had captured him because he had sold them defective guns. Felicity observed the guns had been made by the rival corporation "Mirk Knight". I reported this and requested permission to investigate. He authorised a white BNP for another 50cr.

Catch ye wankers neist time!