djmorton - SLA Industries

Journal o' Th' Kurgen pairt Seven

Thare wur five motherfuckers attacking us, four wi' pistols 'n' thair leader wi' gid armour 'n' a sword. Thay cam intae th' warehouse under cover. He cried oot fur us tae haun ower th' annoying wifie tae whilk ah replied "fuck off!" 'n' tae whilk he replied "kill them!” crakin' bloke. It a' turned a bawherr confusing fur me as ah decided tae charge th' lot o' thaim wi' ainlie mah pipe, needless tae say ah git shot tae bugger 'n' hud tae retreat.

There were five of them attacking us, four with pistols and their leader with good armour and a sword. They came into the warehouse under cover. He cried out for us to hand over Tara to which I replied *** Expletive *** and to which he replied "Kill them!". It got confusing for me as I decided to charge the lot of them with my pipe. Neadless to say I got shot several times and had to retreat.

Duke returned fire whilst ah pumped masell stowed oot o' healing gear. Ah hae tae admit we wur woefully outclassed by thae guys. Thier leader cried oot again fur us tae deliver him th' wifie 'n' ah said we wid, a'm na feartie-cat bit ah didnae wantae die fur th' annoying fud either.

Duke returned fire while I pumped myself full of healing drugs. I have to admit we were badly outclassed by these guys. Their leader cried out again for us to deliver him Tara, and we said we would, I'm no coward but I did not want to die for Tara either.

Felicity 'n' Duke seemed intent oan dying sae ah closed mah een 'n' waited fur th' end, juist then a hail o' gunfire broke oot ripping intae oor assailants. Twa o' thaim wur murdurred forcing thair leader tae surrender 'n' striding in cam pumpin' Anton Conway wi' th' rest o' his Cloak Division slime, it turns oot that th' wifie wis his daughter 'n' he wis usin` her tae lure oot "Wildfire", ex-SLA Ops wha thay haes bin chasing, sounded lik' a hunners o' bollocks tae me, how come nae coupon thaim oot in front ower than a' this subterfuge jobby,? aye th' dosh wis guid sae ah tellt him tae pick a windae, yer leavin' 'n' gaed tae "The Pit" fur drinks.

Felicity and Duke seemed intent on dying so I closed my eyes and waited forthe end. Just then a hail of gunfire ripped into our assialants, killing two and forcing their leader to surrender, and striding in came Anton Comway and his CLoak Division team. It turns out that Tara was his daughter and he was using her to lure out "Wildfire", an ex SLA OPs team who they had been chasing. How come they the could not face them directly rather than this subterfuge. But the money was good so I told him to piss off then went to The Pit for drinks.

Met up wi' Herman wha announced that Duke hud earned a sponsorship fae "Power Projects", he wid noo git his armour repaired fur free, jammy bas! ah git mah free gear fae mah sponsor sae wis happy as a'd bin downing thaim lik' margaritas while happy oor in th' lest rammy. At this point a guid keekin jimmy in flash cloths cam ower 'n' introduced his-sel as "Tony Fury" anither pumpin' financier, thae fuckers ur aw weys! He said he wis a muckle deal in tellybox 'n' media 'n' wanted tae run th' BPNs fur us fae 'ere oan oot, as he seemed th' real deal we 'greed 'n' gave Herman th' boot, tough luck ye pie-eating basturd!

We met with Herman who announced Duke had earned a sponsorship for "Power Projects", and would now get his armour repaired for free. I got my free supply of drugs from my sponsor and was happy as I was runnong low. At this point a good looking man in flash clothing came over and introduced himself as Tony Fury, another financier. He said he was a big deal in TV and media, and wanted to provide BNPs for us in the future. As he seemed genuine we gave Herman the boot.

Tony wanted us tae tak' pairt in an upcoming episode o' "Downtown Deathrace", a'd finally git tae hurl mah bike fur profit 'n' fame sae ah wis in. He an' a' hud a BPN fur us involving investigating a skin trading operation, it a' sounded terribly complicated sae ah left th' aw the info fur Duke tae sort oot as he loues a' that talking 'n' jobby. Afore ah fell asleep fae boredom Duke rang oor contact, a Benedict Armstrong, wha explained that it wid entail cunning ower than a straight-up rammy, whit a pumpin' surprise! He figured that as we'd hud a run-in wi' th' Skin Traders afore thay wid hae a beef wi' us 'n' waant some payback. We'd hae tae capture some alive then torture thaim fur speirins, whilk wid be mah absolute buzz. Afore we cuid git tae th' guid stuff though we'd hae tae appear oan a quiz shaw, jobby!

Tony wanted us to take part in an upcoming episode of Downtown Deathrace, I would finally get to race my bike for profit and fame, so I was in. He also had a BPN for us investigating a skin trading operation. It sounded terribly complicated so I left it to Duke to sort out the details as he likes talking. Before I fell asleep with boredom Duke rang out contact, a Benedict Armstrong, who explained that it would entail cunning rather than a straight up fight. He figured that we'd had a run in with the Skin Traders before, they would bare a grudge and be looking for revenge. He had to capture some alive and torture them for information, which would be great. Before we could get to the good stuff though, we had to appear on a quiz show.

This sae cried entertainment wis cried "Yoke fur Brains" whaur twa teams hud tae answer a bunch o' pointless questions fur prizes, sae we gaed alang tae th' studio 'n' met th' vacuous presenter: a wifie cried Miriam, crakin' tits though. Ah wis feeling bonny shattered at this point as ah forgot tae mention that Deliah th' Destroyer turned up at Th' Pit th' afore forenicht 'n' tellt me she wanted tae hae no nice throwing a sausage up a close, she wasn't kidding as she goosed mah brains oot 'n' even buggered me up mah bahookie. Clatty boot!

This so called entertainment wa called "Yoke for Brains", where teams had to answer pointless questions for prizes. So we went to the studio where we met the presenter Miriam. I was feeling very tired at this point, I forgot to mention that Deliah the Destroyer had turned up at The Pit the previous evening and told me she wanted to sleep with me that evening.

Anyway ah digress, we wur up against anither gang wha's name ah forgoat bit christ thay wur an hackit bunch o' wankers. Whin th' shaw stairted ah decided tio gang foremaist, 'n' fun masell up against Gordo, an auld bas wi' plenty o' scars, though ah doubt he earned thaim in battle. Th' air heid wifie asked me questions oan SLA lee tae whilk ah did a'richt then ah hud tae torture some brassic wifie fur a batch, unfortunately ah wis a bawherr slow 'n' Gordo won, aye 'twas ainlie pretend. Duke wis up neist agianst a wee guy cried Mouser 'n' he chose guns as his topic o' pointlessness. He certainly knew his stuff 'n' did a'richt 'til th' challenge at th' end whilk he goosed up, 'twas sae stoatin' ah a'maist woke up.

Anyway, I digress, we were against who'se name I forgot, but hey were an ugly bunch. When the show started I decided to go first and found myself against Gordo, an old guy with plenty of scars, though I doubt he earned them in battle. Miriam asked me questions on SLA life to which I did all right, then I had to torture some poor woman for a number. Unfortunately I was a bit slow and Gordo won, yes it was only pretend. Duke was up next against a small guy called Mouser and he chose guns as his topic. He certainly knew his stuff and did all right until the challenge at the end which he messed up. It was so great I almost woke up.

Th' shaw wis a'maist ower thank God whin Felicity teuk centur stage against a rid headed twat cried Slipknot, wha thought he wis a frother, bit keeked lik' a clown, anyway Felicity won hauns doon efter butchering some carrion. Dzone hud won whoopdee pumpin' dae! mynd ye th' prizes wur guid, we ilk hud won a set o' gid armour though a'd hae tae up mah drug intake tae compensate fur th' lack o' movement nae that ah gave a jobby.

The show was almost over when Felicity took centre stage against someone called Slipknot, who thought he was a frother, but looked like a clown. Anyway, Felicity won hands down after buthering some carrion. Dead Zone had won. Mind you the prizes were good, we each had won a set of good armour, though I had to increase my drug intake to compensate for the lack of movement.

Sae th' neist step wis tae take the motor ower tae anither God awfy orphanage, pick up a bunch o' annoying kids oan deathrow 'n' hawp th' skin traders wid set an ambush fur us, a' in th' day fur a member o' SLA ah suppose.

So the next step was to take the motor over to another orphanage, pick up more children on deathrow, and hope the Skin Traders would set an ambush for us. Another day for a member of SLA I suppose.

Catch up wi' me neist time tae see howfur we fared ye morbid motherfuckers!